A dream postponed finally comes to pass

Recent seminary graduate Sharon Fry
is finally serving in New Jersey as a pastor

PHILADELPHIA, PA (June 13, 2003) – Growing up in Morristown, NJ, Sharon Fry began to realize at age 13 she wanted to be a pastor. Her father, Herbert, was a pastor. When she received catechetical training, she appreciated what Reformer Martin Luther said about faith and life in his writing about the creeds and prayer.

There was only one problem. The Lutheran Church she was a part of did not yet ordain women.

"I wanted a vocation in the church," Fry recalls, "but I decided on a different career path." She studied sociology and religion at Wagner College, Staten Island, NY, and figured she would get a job in a Lutheran social services agency. As she graduated from Wagner, an opening appeared at the United Way of Morris County, NJ. She ended up spending 25 years there, mostly as director for community relations. The job was largely administrative. "I enjoyed organizing people and watching how people made use of God’s gifts," she says.

The United Way program grew from sponsoring 50 non-profit programs to 75 over the years. Fry supplemented her work at United Way with serving as a volunteer. She was a court-appointed advocate for children removed from their homes due to abuse or neglect. She also volunteered for RapeCare of Morris County, offering counsel, solace and support for victims of sexual violence, often meeting the victims for the first time in a hospital emergency room.

Fry says she loved the one-on-one exchanges with people in need. She recalls the first child she worked with as a court advocate. "He was 10 years old and had a 6-year-old sister," she says. "He was removed from his home one day because his mother, a heroin addict, had fallen asleep in the house while smoking a cigarette, and the house caught on fire. The boy woke up to the sound of a smoke detector." The boy came to the attention of the courts when he told a friend at school about the incident, and a teacher or someone else overheard the conversation.

"The case helped me understand the complexities of such situations," Fry says. "Every child I encountered who was removed from a home wants to go back. They reflect the love and bond they have with a parent. This boy acted in some ways like a parent. He had real concern for his mother." Fry visited the mother in prison. "She wanted to be a good mother. She wanted to get off drugs. She just couldn’t." Fry recalls a day when the boy was so excited because his mother bought a VCR for the family. But within days she had sold the unit for drugs.

Fry says she’s always relished being such a volunteer, but it has had frustrations. "Because these programs receive government funding, I feel I can never bring God into the picture in conversations unless the client involved brings the subject up," she says. "So many times I wanted to talk to victims to say that they are not alone, to talk to them about hope and the realities of sinful behavior in the world." Most of the time she couldn’t.

Meanwhile, the church had begun to ordain women, and Fry decided it was time not to delay any longer her calling to become a pastor so she could put herself in settings where she could finish previously uncompleted conversations with people in need. She began studies at The Lutheran theological Seminary at Philadelphia nine years ago while she continued her United Way and volunteer activities. At times the work load and the commuting seemed excessive. "But I loved everything I was doing," she says. "I couldn’t figure out what to give up." At seminary she loved classes and the sense of community spirit at the school. "At LTSP you really get to know the professors well, not only in class, but also around the lunch table. You discuss scholarly issues, but you can also enjoy casual conversations." For many of the years she was a single parent with a son who is now in college. During her seminary years she was married to Pastor Franklin D. Fry.

"Beyond the sense of community at the seminary," Fry says, "I like that you are required to take classes in different areas. When I began I really didn’t know whether I wanted to be a chaplain or a parish pastor, or where I wanted to serve," she says. "Studying in the different disciplines helped me with that."

She’s settled on the parish route. And, she found a congregation in New Jersey where she could serve part-time, her preference right now. The congregation she will shepherd beginning July 1 is Prince of Peace Lutheran Church in Denville, NJ, which has about 80 members, 40 of whom are youth.

"They haven’t had a pastor for about five years, and they can’t afford someone full time." Fry looks forward to preaching, leading worship and singing in the congregation. She is concerned to initiate new programming for children and hopes to inspire parishioners to network with other congregations in the area thereby becoming more involved in social concerns and community needs. She was ordained June 15.

For Sharon Fry, a vision she first knew as a young teen, is finally a reality.